We walk down the street when he stops me and asks how I feel.
We are fated to get Pizza and carry it to our party location outside the village. So we walk and talk. I answered with the normal “I am doing fine”, but he knew something was off.
He insists and I slowly open up, laying my heart on the table.
I am not good at talking about my problems, because I feel like I don’t need advice from other people and that I am doing just fine solving my issues by myself.
Until I heard of Simon Sinek and the principle of “sitting in the mud with a friend”. It changed my perspective on what it means to be a good friend forever.
1. Giving the chance to help
This principle is about providing friends with the possibility to provide comfort for you.
Because helping someone else and delivering service, makes the giver feel good. By keeping all my problems to myself I am holding back my friends from giving me comfort and consolation. Not sharing my problems is thus a selfish act.
2. Sitting in the mud
The next mistake I made was wanting to fix the problems of my friends.
But that isn’t what our friends want. What they need is someone who is going to sit in the mud with them, and tell them that their situation is indeed shit, but that they are not alone. You can offer a hand, but being a good friend is not about “fixing” the issue, it is about being there.
3. Never cry alone
Another rule Sinek introduced was to “never cry alone”.
Whenever he feels sad and like crying, he calls up a friend. His friends will call him up if they feel the same way. It is a rule that makes their bonds stronger than ever before.
4. Call a friend when you are lonely
Our phones will never switch out personal interaction.
However, calling someone and chatting, significantly reduces your feelings of loneliness. I am bad with this one, but I set the goal to call one friend every day, even for 5 minutes. I want to stay in contact and signal that I care about them.
That walk on a country road to get Pizza, should come back when I read about Simon Sinek. This friend knew what he did and what being a good friend meant. It is about being there in the good and bad times and providing comfort and consolation.
Nothing more, but also nothing less.