It’s April 2023.
In ten days, I will take my final English exam for my A-Levels. But before that, I go on a vacation with my family to Italy, to spend some time in the Mediterranean. I wanted to relax and refuel before the intense exam weeks started.
At least that is what I hoped for. What I got, was … sick. After just one day, I got a cold and could not leave the house. I developed a fever and had to enjoy the stay from the balcony of our bed and breakfast.
I don’t know if it was the stress that knocked me out, or if it was a casual cold. But it hit me hard.
On the long journey back home, we stop at a cloister, to spend the night here. We discovered it some years ago and it became a calm, relaxed stay. I have created a lot of good memories around here.
My cold has become better, but I have not fully recovered yet. We park the car and as soon as we walk up the unpaved path to the quiet inner court, passing wine fields and olive trees, I feel a deep sense of calm.
It feels as if someone lifted a heavy weight off my shoulders.
When we came to the cloister today, I felt safe immediately. I felt secure and free and that I could refuel here.
That is what I wrote in my journal that day. I think it is a combination of the quiet spirit that wanders around this place and the simplicity. The rooms are very simple and so is the dining hall.
There is no screaming, no rush. No big screens, advertisements, music or hectic feelings. Even the next street is 400 meters away. The bus comes two times a day.
The food is not presented as fine dining, but like something an Italian grandmother would cook. Simple ingredients, but delicious. Olive oil and vegetables from the garden, are crafted into a soul-warming meal.
Our rooms are directly connected to an open corridor, that looks into the court. So as soon as you leave your room, you are in nature.
Behind the main building lies a garden, with plants, a little water flow and a lot of flowers. Just standing here, hearing the birds sing and the insects sum, the wind whistling through the big trees, I know that there is something special here.
Is it the presence of God I am sensing or the power of nostalgia? Or is that the same thing altogether?
I am an Agnostic. I cannot prove God’s existence. However, that does not mean that he does not exist. We cannot see electricity or electromagnetic fields either. But we see the impact they have on the real world. Whether God is real or not, I see an impact when praying, letting go of my sorrows, and finding comfort in religious philosophies.
And maybe it is just a feeling of nostalgia for my previous stay here when I already found calm and presence. But the result is the same.
I know that this is good here and that I’ll get a chance to heal.
That might be the most important thing. I know it is good and I know that I can heal here. Should I ever be hurt, down, or lost in life, I know that I can return to this place and heal. I know that I will be welcomed and that the “Frati” will always have a room and a meal for me.
After staying just two days, we pack our things and return. I feel fully recovered from my cold. In eight days are my final exams. I am excited but also calm, because whatever happens, it’ll be okay. I’ll be okay.
What is your happy place and where do you find calm and peace, to heal and grow?
Have a great day.
Matteo