3 Myths About Being a Good Friend
I recently noticed that I don’t know what makes a good friend.
And because I have no clear idea, I don’t know if I am a good friend. So I took some time to reflect on what makes a good friend to me and what I want to change about my behaviour to be a good friend to others.
Because if we want to change the world, we start with the man in the mirror.
1. They will fight your battles for you
I don’t expect my friends to fight my fights for me.
I have a problem when my friends want to fight my fights. A great example is my struggle with romantic relationships. My friends started coupling me up, making arrangements and pushing me in the right direction. And while I appreciate all that effort and know it comes from the heart, I also despise it.
I want to fight and win my battles for me.
That doesn’t mean they should not push me. I want them to sit in the mud with me, tell me they are there, and offer help. They are supposed to build me up and have my back, not fight my battle.
I have been guilty of that, too, but good friends don’t fight your battles. They are the army behind you.
2. They never argue with you
Another illusion of good friendships is that they are easy.
Never arguing or never fighting is not part of a great friendship. It is quite the opposite because it signals that you aren’t honest with one another.
The question is HOW you fight. Do you argue and conclude without yelling at each other? And if you can’t agree, can you agree to disagree and still love each other? The real question, therefore, is: Are you good fighters?
Good friends argue with you and tell you when you are wrong, because who else in the world would, if not them? A good friendship is not conflict-free, but full of productive conflict, helping you to deepen the relationship.
3. They always have time for you
Sometimes I hit up three friends at a time and nobody has time.
I feel lonely and maybe even angry in these situations because nobody has time for me. However, the reality is that they don’t have time; I have nothing to do with it. A friend who is always free probably has no own life when he is available 24/7.
Of course, our friends are a priority, but we also need to accept that we only have 24 hours daily for all our other obligations.
Nevertheless, if we plan to meet up, we should not cancel last minute for another “important thing”. Because that is a lack of priority, and it hurts.
Because I moved away from home, I have contact with my best friends perhaps twice a month. However, these calls are a priority and of tremendous quality.
Good friends are not the ones you spend the most time with but the ones who make you feel like you belong.
I need to remind myself daily what being a good friend means; otherwise, I forget.
What makes a good friend for you? Let me know in the comments.
Have a great day.